My Narcissism knows no bounds

Continuing my yearnings for artistic expression, and my never-ending, perverted self-love, I decided to do another self-portrait. This attempt brought two revelations to light. First of all, I have some huge frigging lips. When you look at yourself in the mirror every day, you forget things like that. Secondly, my second chin is still there. I'd like my jawline back someday. Here's the original pic:


And here's the drawing:


I go back in forth on my feelings. I certainly see many areas that need improvement. The shape of the head remains an issue. The lips look flat, like they don't wrap around my head. I didn't really capture the shape of my nose either. I did make some refinements (my forehead looked quite a bit more neanderthal originally), but eventually I have to let it go.

Next time I'll choose another subject to mutilate. Maybe one that will smile for the camera.

Oh sweet vanity

Little known fact: At one point, I desired to be an artist. My preferred field varied quite often. Cartoons, comic strips, comic books, ya know high-brow intellectual stuff. I dreamed of creating beautiful, moving hand-drawn animated films. However, as I got older I became more aware of shortcomings, especially in comparison to certain people's exceeding talent. And so my artistic aspirations gave way to "reality" and I abandoned my dream to pursue computer science, a very different, but lucrative field.

Over the years, I made small attempts to maintain the skill I developed in high school. At one point I even drew a comic strip for the NC State newspaper. But eventually drawing became a distant memory. Now that I'm done with academics and I don't start a new job until next week*, I picked up my pencil again.

After all these years, I needed something to motivate my hand. Something real, inspiring, that speaks to my heart, and is relevant to the world today. Naturally, I drew myself. Here's my drawing.


Pictured below is the original photo I worked from.


Not too shabby. It's amazing how many concepts came back to me as I drew. Concepts like shading, artistic license, contours, line quality, and lining up features. I actually think the top is too small. My ginormous melon extends a little bit higher than that.

*Yep, you read right. The search is over!

Be Sure to Equip Accessories

I recently watched the video for "Everybody's Free (To Wear Sunscreen)". Shortly thereafter I watched a Street Fighter tournament match. The end result? A mish-mash of philosophical dorkiness. Enjoy!

(inspiration music and vocals not included)

If all else fails, light all the torches in the room. If it can be shot, shoot it. If can be thrown, throw it. If it can't be shot or thrown, move on. Shiny objects are important. If he's still moving, the zombie ain't dead. Talk to everyone in the town. Punt or go for the field goal on the fourth down. I don't even like sports games and I know this. Buy status-healing items as soon as they become available.

Block.

Throwing is not cheap. Use your smart bombs. You'll probably die before you reach what you're saving them for. Listen to the music. It'll help you get the timing down. Water beats fire. Lightning beats water. Fire beats ice. Use your missiles liberally. If potions are expensive or scarce, use magic to heal. Else use the potions. Your brawlers should only heal others in emergencies. Go for the tetris, but don't let the stack get too high. The enemies that run away as soon as the fight starts have the most ability points and experience.

The vulnerable part is flashing.

Those three switches must be hit in a specific order. There are only six possible solutions. A rocket launcher is virtually useless in close combat. Tread carefully. Butt-stomp the post into the ground. It's Up, Up, Down, Down, Left, Right, Left, Right, B, A. Go for the hammer. Use the portals on the sides. If it can be parried, try parrying it. If the wall looks different, bomb it.

Learn to powerslide.

Don't waste time trying to pull off some fancy combo. Just do what you need to win the match. Handling is just as important as speed. That weird chime means something special happened. Headshots save ammo. Jump when the spring is fully compressed. The most useless weapon hurts the final boss. You will get hurt if you touch a bad guy. Don't neglect support magic. Your party becomes killing machines with the appropriate spells. Remember that you can also duck. All armor is useless until it's equipped. That girl selling flowers is going to die. The goblin just wants some food.

Whatever you do, pay attention to your accessories. Trust me on this one.

GI Joe

Week One of being free from the shackles of academia went well enough. I doubt know how comfortable I am with the phrase "shackles of academia". After all, academia was (and is) my ticket away from retail hell or other similarly crappy jobs, so to refer to my second set of college years as a period of incarceration seems inappropriate. But I digress.

The job search continues. I'm not nearly as prepared for my interviews as I thought. I got stumped left and right in this last interview. Part of that is the asinine nature of technical interviews. Interviewers lob random technical question at you that really don't challenge your abilities. Even so, refreshing myself on the intricacies of Java seems to be necessary.

I'd like to know what hell is going on with my digestive system. Ever since a nasty bit of indigestion almost two weeks ago, all kinds of weird sounds have been coming from my stomach. Sometimes I haven't even eaten much and it still sounds like a cauldron. Maybe it just needs some eye of newt. Even now I can hear it rumbling from the apple I just ate. During a stand-up segment on Seinfeld, which I think we can all agree is the greatest thing in the history of the world*, Jerry asserted that if your body were a car, you'd never buy it. It's true that the body has to be clean, fed, shaved, and medicated quite often. Still, it's quite amazing to consider all the involuntary actions that occur without any input on our part. But when things go wrong, as they inevitably do, we're left at the mercy of doctors and the body's own ability to heal.

*Those who disgree shall be burned alive.

Graduation

Yesterday two-and-a-half years of graduate school came to a close. It's so very nice to not agonize over homework, tests, or projects. So now I can agonize over job-searching, bills, and eventually deadlines.

Yay.

The proceedings went fairly well. A good number of my family members managed to make it despite the short notice. I skipped out on the larger morning ceremony in favor of the smaller departmental one later in the day. The prestige of a large university does not necessarily afford it dynamic and interesting speakers. The student speaker during my undergraduate ceremony back in '02 was particularly tiring. Her rattling off of cliched accounts of memories of NC State and cliched hopes for the future bored me to tears. Fortunately the one speaker at the Computer Science ceremony yesterday fared quite a bit better. It helps that her experiences and perspective isn't too far from those of the students. So overall things went well and without incident.

A few people commented to me that I should be more excited. I tend to discuss my graduation and future plans in the same manner an accountant might discuss the latest financial statements. In truth, I'm very happy to be done with school. Those last few weeks were crucial to my making the grade. The round-the-clock typing, coding, and studying left my head spinning. But like a lot of students, I never wanted to go to graduate school in the first place. It was an escape. A lack of experience and a poor economy left me high and dry in my job search back in '02. Grad school saved me from the retail hell I was wasting away in to make ends meet. It also gave me an easy way to gain experience through coops and internships.

It worked. Within two months of returning to school, I scored a well-paying internship that lasted ten months. In '06 I worked an additional eight months with another great company. So with this bit of experience, from which I also made a number of connections and forged a few friendships, and my advanced degree, I should have a good edge in finding a decent job now. But as far as excitement, eh. I'm just not finding it. I don't know where it is or where it should be. It would be nice in some of these job interviews. "You would be testing our search function, does this sound like something you'd be interested in?" "Umm, sure." I mean, how can you be passionate about something like that? You might as well ask me to discuss explicit and implicit differences between various Baroque sculptors and painters.

So you can say that I lack a certain level of enthusiasm for work. If this all sounds a little whiny to you, all I can say is you must be new here. Or slow. But all complaining aside, the future is exciting. It's just so uncertain.