Hopefully Kilborn won't sue...

I viewed an interesting post on Center of Gravitas in which GayProf answered five questions given to him by a reader. I asked GayProf to give me five questions to answer on my blog and he was kind enough to oblige. So without further ado, here's my responses:

1. You have mentioned being a hard-core gamer. Which game do you think was underrated when it came out?

A good question and one for which I have many responses. Underrated games, like movies, develop a cult following. Unfortunately these games also become rare fairly quickly, resulting in jacked up prices on eBay. Over the years I've played some of the rarer of these games.



Rez (PS2, Dreamcast, 2001) - Rez is an absolute work of art, evidence of how audio and visuals can converge and elevate games to a whole new level. The trippy psychedelic presentation is so out there you have to wonder what kind of drugs the developers were on. The game is an on-rails shooter where you lock-on to enemies to take them down. The environments pulsate with the music and everything you do creates sounds that fit in with the tunes. Even the controller shakes to the beat. When I say that you have to play the game to really experience, I really mean it. The game went largely unnoticed by the general public, but interestingly it can be found for a reasonable $30 on eBay.



Tetris Attack (SNES, 1996) - Tetris Attack did well enough upon its initial release. However, the fact that the game isn't worshipped for its fast-paced genius is a crime. Having practically nothing to do with actual Tetris, Tetris Attack requires you match colored blocks in groups of three to advance. The challenge comes in when you match together chains by lining matching colors for falling blocks. The single player mode is addictive enough on its own. However, the real fun comes in when you launch the 2 player VS. mode. As you can see in the video above, the matches are intense and blocks are hurled almost as much as profanities. An online-enabled version will be available in June. I can't wait.



Donkey Kong Jungle Beat (Gamecube, 2005) – Video footage of DK Jungle Beat might lead you to believe it’s a simple, run-of-the-mill platformer. Ordinarily it would be, except you play the game with bongo drums. Hitting the drums controls movement, jumping, and attacking enemies. This elevates the fun to whole new level, particularly when one is intoxicated. Unfortunately despite having the Donkey Kong name attached, the game sold very poorly.

I might as well take this time to bring certain games down a peg as well. So here are my picks for overrated video games:



Grand Theft Auto III (PS2, Xbox, 2001) – GTA’s violent, bloody side doesn’t bother me. I enjoyed Devil May Cry, Metal Gear Solid, and Resident Evil 4 all games featuring sometimes-gratuitous violence. However GTA’s clunky control scheme makes the on-foot action a bore. The sketchy lock-on mechanism and simplistic hand-to-hand combat just aren’t satisfying. Driving realistic cars in a video game never really interested me either. Add on top of that only marginally interesting characters and weak graphics overall (although this understandable given the huge scope of the in-game world), and there’s not much to draw me into this game. Reviews of the sequels don’t mention much improvement to these issues, so I’ve largely skipped out on those.



ICO (PS2, 2001) – Normally you’d see this on the underrated list. ICO is praised as a unique, beautiful game. The player controls a boy who guides a helpless (really, really helpless) girl out of a castle by solving intricate puzzles. It bore the crap out of me. Many players say they developed a strong bond with girl, who must be tugged by the arm everywhere. I never gave a fuck about her. The puzzles were nice enough, but the combat was a bore. Not fun, not interesting, not worth my time.

2. What has been the worst dinner/party/gather that you either hosted or attended? Why so?

This would be the part where I share a funny story about how an otherwise-great party went horribly, horribly wrong. I don’t have any such story. To be honest, if you were to ask me about a great party I went to, the response would be the same. Parties usually are “eh” to me. Maybe it’s because I rarely go with a group to, well, anything. I’ve been told gatherings are a lot more fun that way. Anyway, I’ll share a list of not-that-good-in-the-first-place gatherings that went poorly.

1. When some dumb girl decided to fight my female friend at a party for no reason. Being drunk and not wanting to look like a "punk", my friend didn't back down. She ended up with a black eye and numerous bruises.
2. Every wedding I ever went to. Being from a conservative rural area, consuming any amount of alcohol is considered bad. That makes weddings that much more intolerable. Thankfully people rarely get married where I grew up. They just start having kids.
3. Once in 8th grade they had an honor roll event after school, and they served unsweetened Kool-Aid. WTF?
4. Back when I went to NC A&T a dance was advertised that offered free admission and free food. The flyer listed the organizers as “TCF” which it turns out stood for “The Christian Fellowship”. Needless to say the dance floor wasn’t packed.

3. What is a television show that you wished you could have been the lead actor? Why so? How would you have changed the role?

I was going to go with the obvious choice, Jerry Seinfeld, but I think I’ll change my answer to Malcolm Reynolds, played by Nathan Fillion.

Mal was tough, honest, and a bit of an asshole. I would’ve changed the role by having him get it on with Inara from the beginning. Or maybe Wash.

4. One of your recent posts discussed (to humerous effect) some rules/truths about internet dating. What, though, are you own goals for dating? How do you imagine your ideal situation in dating? LTR? Multiple partners? Monogamous? Do you want somebody like you or opposite of you?

Thanks, glad to hear my post was appreciated. I want someone who’s honest, caring, and fun. Someone whose company I can enjoy without either of us saying a thing. They don't have to have the perfect body, but I do want someone attractive and within 30 lbs of their ideal weight. It’ll be a monogamous, long-term relationship. I expect meeting someone like me would only amplify the depths of self-loathing, so opposites would be the preferred arrangement. But people are frequently surprised by the type of people they fall in love with, so I’d keep my options open as long as the person ascribes to the standard virtues of love, honesty, and trust that most value.

5. Why do you worship and/or adore GayProf?

GayProf seems like his alcohol which, despite my upbringing, is something I can definitely get on board with.