Welcome to Dorkopolis. Population: Us.

With my newly purchased (and so very awesome) iPod, I've come to the conclusion I'm kind of a gadget geek. Over the last two years, I've purchased a Nintendo DS, a Nintendo DS Lite, the iPod, a laptop, a digital camera, an Xbox, and various game controllers including a bongo drum, guitar, and DDR pads. You might say "But you've always been a dork!" That may be so. I embrace the fact that to most people my interests are pretty dorky. It's when people think that it's a bad thing that I have a problem.

But first, let me define what that is so you can understand exactly what type of person I'm talking about. A gadget geek always keeps up on the latest devices, whether it's PDAs, cell phones, laptops, video games, or a device that combines the functions of those. He (or she, but really how many of those are there?) will always be aware of the best name brands, the new models that are on the way, and all the various features.

An important distinction needs to be made here. Some of the five of you reading this might own an iPod and even a digital camera. You might even know how to work them fairly well. That alone isn't enough. Owning gadgets is perfectly normal nowadays ever since the popularization of the cell phone. A gadget geek could tell you the release of his firmware, will customize ever single option available, and will upgrade to a new model as soon as possible. That's about were I am.

For instance, you might've noticed I own two Nintendo DSes. What's the different between the two? The DS Lite has a better design. Much better. If you only understood how it trumps the older model every way shape and form. The screen, the buttons, the ergonomics; the excitement is almost orgas-- ahem. You see my point. I pretty much had the same reaction yesterday when I started using my iPod and let go of my previous MP3 player, the outdated, yet capable Creative Zen 2.0.

And man is it nice to have an mp3 player that weighs practically nothing yet still holds 30 gigs of data. Unlike the Zen 2.0, this mp3 player won't freeze up half the time while transferring music and the file organization options in iTunes are virtually flawless. If you've been trying to organize your mp3s on your own, drop everything, tell your boss to rot in hell, and download iTunes right now. Best of all, this iPod can play videos, meaning I can transfer my favorite DVDs (like seasons 4, 5, and 6 of The Simpsons) for viewing while out on the road. That's a lot of entertainment for something that weighs less than my wallet. The only thing I hate is that Apple had to make the damn USB port different from the standard model, meaning you have to buy the USB cable from them if you lose the original.

Just last night I spent about three hours customizing the artwork that appears next to songs and configuring the ID3 tags just the way I like them. Great stuff.

The mystery box could be anything!

It appears I have some very exciting news. No, I did not save money on my car insurance. Seriously, those jokes are so old. If you laughed at that at all, kill yourself. Let's have a moment of silence for those we just lost. There. Now anyway as I was saying, I have exciting news, although I fear the actual announcement can't possibly match the amount of suspense I've built up for it. That's the way these things go when you give someone a hint and then ramble on endlessly about something else. Oh well.

The point is I won a sweepstakes, so to speak. The prize was a 3-day, 2-night stay at a resort up in the mountains of Virginia. One lazy Sunday afternoon I received a phone call informing me of my winnings. I instinctively expected some sort of catch to be involved. For one thing, at the time I couldn't recall entering any sort of contest. But it was legit. I had in fact won this very excellent vacation. However, that catch was waiting to spring itself on me.

In order to take advantage of my winnings, I had to visit their resort within the next month and take a 90-minute tour of the place. Upon completing the tour I would receive a voucher for the free 2-night stay that was good for the next year. Something had to be up. Why would they take me on a tour of their resort when I'd be visiting it eventually anyway? And why did they go through the trouble of explicitly telling me I'm under no obligation to buy anything? Still, since they threw in a $150 Visa gift card for making the trip up there, it was a win-win situation.

So last Saturday I made the five-hour drive up to Virginia. Quite a long trek to make alone. Mapquest's directions were flawless which was a little unexpected. My Civic got incredibly sluggish as I chugged up the winding roads of the mountain. Shortly after checking in, I met with a representative and he confirmed what I suspected all along: they were selling timeshares. I knew I wasn't going to buy one from the get-go, but I didn't have my Visa gift card, so I patiently went through the presentation.

Most of the presentation consisted of a tour of the resort, which is really quite nice. It has an indoor water park, ski slopes, ponds for fishing, golf courses, driving ranges, and tons of other free activities. Beautiful trees can be seen all over the mountainside, and hiking trails are also available for the outdoorsy types. The condos were impressive, although I really think that part of the luxuries should be a large, flat-screen television with high-definition cable, not a generic 27-inch TV with a curved screen.

Finally, it was time for me to reject their offers. At first my reason for rejecting them was simple: I simply don't have the money for that. But they kept bumping down their offers farther and farther, until I couldn't help but be amazed at the amounts of cash they were willing to sacrifice to get me on board. All of their effort proved futile for one plain, simple reason: I don't take vacations. Vacations are typically enjoyed among a large group of people, and as I pointed out before, people suck.

They even made the laughable suggestion that it would be a good way to spend time with my family. Take everything I said in my previous post about going places in groups. Factor in that some people are extremely annoying, others never get along, and add in that the group includes all age categories from cantankerous old people to whiny children. On top of that, you're stuck with them for up to a week as opposed to one evening. Does that sound like a recipe for disaster or what?

And so I walked out the door timeshare-less and $150 richer. I also had the voucher for my free vacation that I will later take with the three least-abrasive people I can find. Was this worth the ten hours of driving last Saturday? I'm not sure. But a video iPod would be nice right now.

Up and let's go!

Most of the major movie blockbusters have been released. The remaining films are mostly "smaller" films like Clerks 2 and the overhyped Snakes on a Plane. I haven't made it out to see The Da Vinci Code or MI:3 yet, but I have seen the other major hits, so with that I present my reviews of X-men: The Last Stand, Superman Returns, and Pirates of the Carribean: Dead Man's Chest.

X-men: The Last Stand was slightly disappointing, mostly due to the simplistic plot and unsatisfactory ending. Still, Brett Ratner does a good job taking off where Bryan Singer left the series. The action and special effects were excellent and the actors handle their parts well when the drama kicks up. However, the most frustrating thing about X3 is that the producers have explicity stated there will not be another film, which make its loose ends much more frustrating. Several characters die or are presumed dead throughout the course film, budding relationships develop between some of the team members, and other characters make controversial steps in new directions. If another film isn't made, all these plotlines are a waste. The "cliffhanger" ending and extra secret ending after the credits become useless as well.

In its present form, thematically X3 seems like another step in the series focus on the struggle for mutant acceptance. There's no ultimate conclusion or moral that will guide the heroes through their future conflicts. While some characters (like Wolverine) do seem to have a better understanding of their place in the world, others (like Rogue) are still on the fence. All these complaints might make it seem like I didn't like the film, but I thoroughly enjoyed it. It's just that in retrospect it loses some of its luster when it appears so many things will be left unresolved. And it doesn't come close to X2, arguably the best comic book film to date.

Superman Returns' ultra-high budget might lead you to think it's an action-packed film. It is not. The film is rumored to be the expensive film ever made, which is puzzling given King Kong is even longer and just about as ambitious. However, thanks to excellent performances and good character development, Superman kept me captivated throughout its entire, almost-three-hour run. Like many others, I believe the film is too long and Singer should've edited the film to get it closer to a two-and-a-half hour running time. Many blame Kate Bosworth for a more reserved and polite Lois Lane. While the character isn't exactly what I'd expect, I believe fault lies with the writers as well. Or maybe motherhood softened Ms. Lane up. Who knows.

As Stephen and many critics discussed, in some ways Superman isn't a terribly compelling character. He pines to get the girl and strives to protect regular citizens as well as the ones he loves. That's pretty much sums him up. Thanks to a nice plot twist in Returns we get to see more of his vulnerability that doesn't involve using kryptonite to weaken the hero. Oh and let's not forget the action. When it kicks up it's a blast, supported by nearly flawless special effects and that roaring theme we all love. Tomorrow I intend to see the film at IMAX and can't wait.

Finally, there's Pirates of the Carribean: Dead Man's Chest, my favorite summer movie so far and one of the longest movie titles ever. While I didn't see the big deal with the first movie, this one captivated me from the start. Pirates, like Superman, does move slowly for the first hour, but it enjoys the advantage of visiting many lush and varied locales, filled with seedy, interesting characters. The cinematography, costumes, and settings held my interest just as much as the plot. On a side note, Pirates may someday be credited with the most ugly group of supporting characters ever.

The film is admittedly a bit hard to follow at times. Many details from the original come up in the second movie without bothering to bring audiences up to speed who missed the first movie or haven't seen it since 2003. Walking out of the theater, a couple asked me about the ending, which hits you with a nice surprise. The humor and action works well, even as major characters double-cross and turn on one another. Johnny Depp once again is excellent as Jack Sparrow, whose presence is a bit more cartoony in this film. It's hard not to walk out the theater with a smile on your face about the film, even if you might have to watch the first again to fully understand it.

They are ants, Ted! They are ants!

My Independence Day was spent at the beach enjoying the sun with my pal Jason. In an effort to make the most of the day, we decided to go parasailing. We imagined a riveting thrill ride leaving us in a euphoric state like one enjoys while sipping the finest wine and smoking the most potent weed. The actual event was somewhat underwhelming, especially in comparison to going skydiving last year. Parasailing can be summed up like so:

1. Strap yourselves into the harnesses.
2. Get raised 400 to 800 feet into the air.
3. Stare vacantly down at the water for a few minutes.
4. Scratch yourself.
5. Get lowered back onto the boat, possibly with a brief dip into the water.

That's it. There's no real sense of speed, no high-speed falling, and only a slight risk of wetting yourself. This is all preceded and followed by a 10 minute boat ride from the dock to the ocean and back, not to mention waiting for the other schmucks to have their turn. In truth the boat ride is about enjoyable as the actual parasailing. The few minutes spent hanging up in the air allow your mind to absorb the fact that "this is all there is". Afterwards, you're left with few options to entertain yourself before being lowered again. If you've gone up with another person strapped to you, you can play 20 questions or lob vicious insults back and forth about whose fault this is.

Otherwise, you'll have to fend for yourself. What are your options? You can always take some rocks up with you and pelt the boat captain from 400+ feet. I have it on good authority that boat rides are far more interesting when the person steering is unconscious. Slitting your wrists in mid-air would probably be a first. Obscene gestures at the beachgoers near the ocean is also a decent option. The point is that parasailing, while amusing in its own right, is probably not worth the cost. Your money is better spent on other traditional coastal activities like jet skiing, fishing, or prostitutes.

I am what I am, Sam-I-am.

I am: in transition; honest; kind; practical; intelligent; a black man; a graduate student; funny;

I said: what I feel; not enough; too much; things I didn't mean; things I didn't mean that way; nothing; all I knew how; I love you;

I want: peace; happiness; acceptance; the truth; everything;

I wish: I were different; things were different; I could redo a few moments of my life; I could revisit a few moments of my life;

I strongly dislike: sports; ambiguity; lies; having to lie; hypocrisy; superficiality;

I miss: being a kid (sometimes); some old friends and acquaintances;

I fear: failure; stagnancy; loss; uncertainty;

I hear: music; fans;

I wonder: what the future holds; what it all really means; why people care about celebrities;

I regret: pain that I've caused; comfort I didn't give; lies that I believed

I am not: dishonest; a bad person;

I dance: when no one's looking; when I'm intoxicated;

I sing: around the times when I dance;

I cry: rarely; at some movies; when angels deserve to die;

I am not always: sure of myself or my beliefs; as virtuous as I'd like; sociable

I made: many mistakes; the best of what I have been given;

I write: as a release; to express myself;

I confuse: the definitions of sadist and masochist;

I need: to let go a little; another vacation

I should: calm down and take some time to collect my thoughts; stop worrying so much; make more friends;

I start: repeating myself on lists like this.

I finish: repeating myself on list like this;

I tag: nobody.