Take the blue pill

I was all set to graduate this fall. The workload would be rigorous, but not impossible. I'd take one summer course while working full-time over the summer and twelve hours of graduate courses in the fall. Then I took the first test in my summer class. Arriving fifteen minutes late (thank you very much Tropic4al Storm Alberto) and without a pencil, the odds were already against me. But that wasn't a problem anyway since two of the four questions I had no clue how to do. The class average turned out to be 44, so apparently I wasn't alone in my confusion. Oh, and my grade? Forty. Cripes.

My poor performance wasn't entirely unexpected. A week into the class we were delving into matrix calculations, a subject I hadn't thought about in over five years. And making time for a graduate level course isn't exactly easy, although in truth I didn't put in as much time as I should've and became distracted very easily.

So some replanning was in order. I contemplated my odds of really buckling down and taking fifteen hours of courses, but my advisor quickly shot down that possibility, saying it's practically unheard of. I countered that an acquaintance of mine actually completed NC State's program in one year, taking fifteen hours two semesters in a row, which was true. Of course then I remembered that he's much smarter than I am and he had a 4.0 GPA all throughout college. This guy did all this while working part-time and maintaining a marijuana habit. Did I mention I despise him?*

But I digress. I'm still taking twelve hours this fall, but I'll probably find a job this fall and take a distance education class in the spring to finish up. Afterwards I will be done with school (hopefully forever) and can go out into the real world where my will to live shall slowly be drained.

*Not really. We still stay in touch.

Hey, it's one of these things again...

1. What curse word do you use the most? Probably the f-word, sadly. It's usually under my breath though.
2. Do you own an iPod? No, but I will sometime in the near future. iPods seems like one of those "cool things to hate", but from what I read there's a reason why it's the number one MP3 player out there. Plus I don't care what other people think of me.
3. Who on your MySpace "Top 8" do you talk to the most? Probably Josh at this point.
4. What time is your alarm clock set for? 6:45 am. I NEVER get up then. The snooze button gets hit at least twice, even though it's broken.
5. What color is your room? White
6. Flip flops or sneakers? Sneakers. I don't care too much for my feet.
7. Would you rather take the picture or be in the picture? Be in it. Every time I'm in one I get a little better at it.
8. What was the last movie you watched? X3. Great movie. Not as good as X2, but entertaining and fun nonetheless.
9. Do any of your friends have children? Nope.
10. Has anyone ever called you lazy? Yeah, heard it all the time as a kid.
11. Do you ever take medication to help you fall asleep faster? No, although sometimes I could use it. Does liquor count as medicine?
12. What CD is currently in your CD player? CDs? What's this, the Ice Age? MP3 players ftw.
13. Do you prefer regular or chocolate milk? Either
14. Has anyone told you a secret this week? Nope. People don't open up to me. They grab their children and run in the other direction.
15. Have you ever given someone a hickey? No, that seems like more of a high school thing to me.
16. Who was the last person to call you? My mom, before my alarm clock even went off that morning.
17. Do you think people talk about you behind your back? yeah, but just because I'm so damn amazing.
18. Did you watch cartoons as a child? I watch cartoons NOW.
19. How many siblings do you have? Four. Two bros and two sisters.
20. Are you shy around the opposite sex? A little, but I'm shy in general.
21. What movie do you know every line to? None of them, although I'm pretty close on a few.
22. Do you own any band t-shirts? No.
23. What is your favorite salad dressing? Ranch, although it's really fattening.
24. Do you read for fun? Hell no.
25. Do you cry a lot? What am I, a woman?
26. Who was the last person to text message you? People don't text me. My last phone call is from my mother ferchrissakes.
27. Do you have a desktop computer or a laptop? Both
28. Are you currently wanting any piercings or tattoo? Nope, not even a little. There's no need to soup up this hot rod.
29. What is the weather like? Sunny and bright. In other words, crappy
30. Would you ever date someone covered in tattoos? Hmmm, no. Love the skin you're in.
31. Is sex before marriage wrong? Probably, but it's so much fun.
32. When was the last time you slept on the floor? Don't know. I like my beds or couches.
33. How many hours of sleep do you need to function? About eight.
34. Are you in love or lust? I'm in lust every time I see Angelina Jolie. Somehow I doubt she feels the same way.
35. Are your days full and fast-paced? Kind of. I have plenty to do between work and school.
36. Do you pay attention to calories on the back of packages? I have to. I'm almost back up to 200 pounds. :-/
37. How old will you be turning on your next birthday? 26. On the latter half of my twenties. *sigh*
38. Are you picky about spelling and grammar? Yeah, so I pretty much despise the Internet.
39. Have you ever been to Six Flags? Several times. Georgia, Washington, DC, and New Jersey
40. Do you get along better with the same or opposite sex? Same. Women are mysterious creatures.
41. Do you like cottage cheese? Haven't had it in a looooooong time
42. Do you sleep on your side, tummy, or back? All three at some point. And tummy? Do people still actually say that?
43. Have you ever bid for something on eBay? Many times.
44. Do you enjoy giving hugs? Yeah, but I'm not one of those needy people who just has to get a hug.
45. What song did you last sing out loud? You don't want to know. Seriously.
46. What is your favorite TV show? Seinfeld. Not that there's anything wrong that.
47. Which celebrity, dead or alive, would you want to have lunch with? Not sure. Some celebrities I like, but I doubt I could bring anything to the table over any of their other fans.
48. Last time you had butterflies in your stomach? That time I swallowed some caterpillars
49. What one thing do you wish you had? My master's degree. I'm sick of classes.

Ignorance IS bliss.

Many people, including myself, enjoy impressing people with their knowledge on various subjects. The more obscure the topic, the more astonished people are at your expertise. However, whenever people don't know something that's fairly common knowledge, they're frequently embarrassed. Not I. If I don't know something, it's probably because it's not a big enough deal for me to care. So unabashedly I admit my ignorance on a subject and continue about my business. With that in mind I present this:

Things I'm proud/not ashamed to not to know:

1. Current sporting events - This has been a long-standing consistency. Some people (primates, if you will) have been known to ask me "Did you see the game today?" Completely unaware of what the other party is referring to, I respond "What game?" The dumbfounded ape then precedes to tell me what game it was, without bothering to wonder why I am clueless. The implicit assumption in asking "Did you see the game today?" is that of the dozens sporting events being broadcast, one in particular has the public's attention. People frequently fail to realize that I'm utterly unaware of the mystical events occurring in the sports world at all. A perfect example of this can be seen a few weeks ago when a friend mentioned he was watching a hockey game the next day. My response, which I am not making up, was "Oh, hockey season has started?" Appalled, he then informed me that the Carolina Hurricanes, the local hockey team, were a few wins away from going into the finals for the Stanley Cup. I shrugged.

2. How the stock market works - I mean to rectify this at some point. Really. But for now I operate under the assumption that stock points are decided by shifts in the HP and MP of role-playing characters controlled by Hindu gods. That makes more than enough sense for me right now.

3. Pop music - I can't believe anyone would be ashamed not to keep up with pop music. The schlock MTV pumps out these days has been showing for years dumbs down an already lethargic generation of Laguna Beach-addicted losers. Radio stations aren't much better with playlists that deliberately appeal to the lowest common denominator. So I rely on word-of-mouth, random chance, and trusted sources to find content for my mp3 player which I never leave the house without.

4. How cars work - I can check my oil and (if necessary) the transmission fluid. Oh and I can pump gas. That's about it.

5. Fashion - I admit it. I am completely clueless in this area. I have some idea of how to match clothing, but that's where my expertise. People have been barking for years that jean shorts are out of style. I accept this to be true without any inkling as to why. Some things piss me off, especially when something catches on even though two weeks later everyone will admit it was ridiculous (bellbottoms, for instance). And what the **** is up with "no white after Labor Day?" Who decides this crap?

Conversely, everyone has their secret obssessions that they hide from those not in their inner circle. These closeted fanatics resist the urge to share their enjoyment with the rest of the world for fear of mockery. Not I. If I like it and feel like sharing, expect to hear about it. At that note, I present:

Things I'm proud to know (but probably shouldn't be)

1. Who Tom Bombadil is - What's the big deal with this guy anyway?

2. The cast of various Street Fighter games - Don't let me get started, you might be mortified by the depths of my knowledge concerning this. For instance, I once saw Rolento make a guest appearance in another Capcom game and proceeded to inform everyone else exactly which Capcom games he appears in.

3. The party members in Super Mario RPG - Mallow, Geno, Princess Toadstool, Bowser, and Mario.

4. Most of the songs from the musical RENT - It's a musical. I know the lyrics. I'm a guy. 'Nuff said.

5. The difference between your and you're - Wow, correct word usage on the Internets. How novel.