Blank? BLANK? You're not looking at the big picture!

OK, I'm going to write this entry as quickly as possible to avoid wasting time trying to articulate my thoughts.

Today was my boss' final day, meaning that starting tomorrow I'll be working with someone else for the remainder of my career with the Harris corporation. I can't decide if my new boss doesn't like me, thinks I don't like him, or is just generally antisocial. In any case, much awkwardness will ensue. The guy in the cube across from me also quit today, which sucks since he's probably the only person at the company who's as big if not a bigger dork than me. This guy actually owns a bootleg of the Clone Wars cartoons that he picked up at a convention.

I might be coming down with something, or slowly getting over it, it's hard to tell. I had a slightly sore throat on Monday and early Tuesday, but last night and tonight I have been just drained. I can't find the energy to do anything, even eat. I had a sandwich at 8, not because I was hungry, but because I thought it was the healthy thing to do after not eating for seven hours. The fatigue has worn off a little, but I head is still swimming slightly.

After doing my taxes and cleaning up a substantial amount of clutter, my pathological hate of bills has reached a new high. I'm absolutely, positively sick of this mountain of paper the corporate world in burying me in. I don't want to sign anything, fill out this form, check this box, lick stamps, open envelopes, or any other bullcrap. I'm sick of the damn loan company that always sends me two letters to say essentially the same thing. I'm sick of these damn credit card companies packing all these useless advertisements into every statement I receive from them. I'm sick of throwing away every extra envelope that comes with each bill. Argh.

No body parts were damaged in the typing of this message, although my nostrils flared a couple of times.

Oy Vey.

Similarities continue to arise in my life and Asner-clone II. The departure of my manager means more responsibility and work resting on my shoulders, but not quite on the level of Stephen’s private hell. I just need to be able to understand the company software enough to handle most of the tasks handed down to me. In any case, it appears that my job is secure for the foreseeable future, which is a relief like no other.

If you’re looking for a good rental for a lazy weeknight, I strongly suggest The Bourne Supremacy. Strong performances from Matt Damon and Julia Stiles support white-knuckle action and excellent pacing. The latter point is especially impressive; the movie rarely drags, if at all. Plus it’s a great chance to get a good look at Julia without having to suffer through some piece of crap like Down to You.

You don't know the power of the dark side.

I picked up a nice surround sound system this weekend. Up until this point I’ve never been much of an audiophile, although I was obsessed with getting good quality out of my SNES back in middle school. However, Onkyo’s excellent speakers and more than adequate receiver have made a believer out of me. Screw Lord of the Rings, episodes of Futurama sound fantastic on this thing. It’s unfortunate how much work goes unappreciated due to tinny, weak TV speakers.

Incidentally the amount of clutter in my little entertainment room has increased tenfold. Something needs to be done before the problem really gets out of hand. I might upload pics later to give you a better view.

I join Stephen in my uncontrollable enthusiasm concerning the new Star Wars film. The levels of badassery exhibited in the trailer is only diminished by my vivid memories of the first two. 60 Minutes did a piece on the film, but squandered most of the air time focusing on George Lucas. I actually wanted them to give away the whole plot which, given the trailer and the various trappings of a prequel, I basically know anyway. But I wanted Lucas to put everything up on screen and say “See this is where this guy dies… and this guy… oh, this one is good, watch that guy die. Damn I love that part… Here’s where Anakin becomes Vader… By the way, have I ever mentioned that I lost my mind years ago?”

Don't ****ing "Jimmy" me, Jules!

At some point in your life you should be past acne. And at 24 most people are, but that’s not enough. EVERYONE should be free of adolescent skin conditions at this age. You take the whole concept of clear skin for granted as a kid and then it’s snatched away from you just as you start trying to get laid. Cruelly ironic.

Note to self: If in need of a haircut, be patient. I received a haircut for some foreign woman the other day when the punks at my regular barber shop decided to close early. Horrible idea. It was obvious about two seconds into it that she had no idea what she was doing (even though she clearly thought she did). She didn’t even bother to fix my hairline properly, a meticulous process that’s integral to the quality of a haircut. I can’t believe I still tipped that woman.

I have a great digital camera that I picked up from Sears over the holidays. The resolution, which is pretty standard these days, is more than enough for most people’s needs. In fact, it’s even more detailed than real life. Every hair on my face was much more visible than it ever was in a mirror.

Dammit, I changed again.

In some kind of weird alignment of the planets, my manager resigned today as well, just like Stephen's. I assure you this is no mere coincidence however because it turns out that Stephen and I are actually the same person. Stephen and I are actually cyborgs created by Ed Asner to spread his goodwill throughout humanity. We were programmed to have the same personality, but environmental factors and (I assume) some kind of tanning accident led to our apparent differences.

My mission for a free Tibet notwithstanding, today's resignation resonated with a kind of "crap your pants" sort of shock. I work directly with my boss in our small division, meaning that it's conceivable that if he isn't there the company will consider me a liability. I pay $400 a month for rent and took out a $4,200 loan on my car. I have student loans and credit card bills. It would suck. Original Ed wouldn't like it.

Next thing you know, you'll be saying they should have their own schools...

There’s nothing like a trip to the dentist to leave your mouth feeling fresh and clean. I hadn’t seen my dentist in some time, so they told me that the cleaning they were to perform would have to make up for all cleanings I missed. Expecting pain equivalent to average Adam Sandler film, I found the whole experience surprisingly painless. At least until it was time to pay. Now my tongue relentlessly probes all those little gaps where plaque was in-between my teeth.

I think I’ve hit the wall of tedium and monotony I can endure at this job. Seriously, I spend every afternoon doing everything but work. The tasks handed to me seem so utterly boring, that gross apathy has overcome the relative simplicity of the tasks before me. On the plus side, my boss’ boss said we were doing a good job after my boss gave a presentation about the work we were doing. Even so, I wish I had more to do and maybe I should consider…. oh snap, it’s almost 5:00! Later!

P.S. I’m aware that my image has mysterious disappeared in the upper-right corner. I’m working on fixing that.

I am Evil Homer...

I’m going to blatantly copy Stephen who himself blatantly copied his friend Danielle. What can I say, I’m not creative and I rip off other people’s ideas if I like them. I think that’s how reality TV took over the entertainment industry.

35 Things About Me You're About to Read and Then Shut the Hell Up

1. I really, really hate people who talk during a movie.
2. Despite all the praise he gets, I still think Quentin Tarantino is somehow underrated.
3. I always thought it’d be cool to learn Elvish (or Japanese) and then have one other friend who knew it and speak it in front of other people like some kind of special code.
4. Zelda: The Minish Cap is a highly addictive and fun game.
5. My current plan for the next four months is to work and play video games until I run out of games that I’ve been meaning to play.
6. I’m annoyed that so many good games keep getting released. I wanna finish dammit!
7. It’s easy even for me to waste money on crap I don’t even need.
8. I find most people boring. When people tell me about themselves, I quit listening halfway through the first sentence.
9. I can’t remember the last time I went to church.
10. Things that don’t make logical sense annoy and frustrate me.
11. The only girls I ever want are way out of my league.
12. I think this generation of kids is a lot more screwed up than we like to think.
13. Being ask a lot of questions is by a wide margin my biggest pet peeve.
14. A nice, comfy pair of boxers beat the hell out of briefs any day.
15. I wish I could fly, and I fantasize about it pretty regularly.
16. Sometime in the near the future I want to go skydiving and/or hang-gliding.
17. I like the innocence exhibited by toddlers.
18. I goof off so much at my job I’m surprised no one has said anything yet.
19. I love not being at graduate school. If it weren’t for homework and projects, school would be far more tolerable.
20. I watched that Christina Aguilera “Dirrty” video like 50 times.
21. I can’t swim. It’s physically impossible for me to do so.
22. I am absolutely horrible at remembering names.
23. However, I can remember numbers. If everyone’s name were made of numbers, I could remember them easily and probably would have everyone’s names added in my head.
24. I like boobies.
25. I… still like boobies.
26. I like rap music a lot more than most people would think.
27. I mumble nonsensical stuff to myself when I’m alone.
28. I hate being “fake” in any way, shape, or form. In other words, I hate doing anything that misrepresents how I actually feel about something or somebody. Not surprisingly, I have no problem being fake when it suits my interests.
29. For some reason, I think I’m not obligated to work the last 20 minutes of the workday.
30. There are some things I’d like to change about my appearance, but I never have the inclination to make them happen.
31. I can’t watch television dramas. For some reason they just don’t hold my interest.
32. I haven’t spoken to my mother in over a week. I’m not mad at her, I just don’t see the point in calling.
33. I intend to buy a surround sound system in the near future.
34. I have an mp3 player with over 1200 songs on them. I find at least 300 songs unlistenable.
35. Someday I hope to become a video game developer, but most of my best ideas have been made into games that are better than my wildest dreams.